Today is my birthday. (update: today is not actually my birthday, seeing how I forgot to hit publish on the 25th…but… anyway…
No matter what I end up doing, I intend to move through this world guided by my instinct and purpose. I have so many wonderful hobbies I adore and often times I’ll get the question: “but what will you stick with for the long-term?” and honestly, it doesn’t matter. Yes, I have an idea, but what’s most important to me is feeling at peace and happy and I know that whatever I end up doing is meant for me. I no longer stress the ‘could-haves’ in life. If something was meant to happen, it would have. I believe everything happens in perfect, divine order at exactly the right time. The heaviness in life comes from holding on to emotions that were meant to be ephemeral.
Sometimes, walking away with good memories is enough. I don’t need to hold on to the past or things that are no longer in my highest interest. This is like saying “if you keep rereading the same chapter, you’ll never finish the book.” and it’s true. We cling onto fleeting feelings, wanting them to last forever but through refusing to let go and honor the natural flow of things, (ironically) we sabotage our own happiness. The sheer beauty of living comes from the flow of change.
Something I’ve learned is that I am not the mind. What the human mind does is describe, measure and compare. Inevitably, it will never cease to provide me with intrusive and negative thoughts. But it is my choice whether or not to believe them. I am the observer of my thoughts, not the victim to them. I do not judge my thoughts and instead, I embrace them. Now, this does not mean I follow them and do what they say. I acknowledge their existence rather than suppressing them, because I believe they are there to direct me back to my truth, the Self. Not the ego; that which makes us see the world through a lens of illusory fear. The Unlimited, Infinite Being we all are, synonymous with the Beyond: the Self.
The mind will always be full of shadows, but these shadows cannot remain within the presence of light.
All in all, I can’t wait to see where this next year takes me…
“It may have taken a long time, but in the end it did not matter. After much healing through self-observation she now had strength, she now had courage, and the wisdom to wield her new magic with virtue. No longer did she run from her pain or her troubles, no longer did she allow delusions to capture her mind, no longer did she doubt that the greatest healer she has ever met is her own unconditional love.”
Yung Pueblo
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